Fact & Fantasy 2
this section is:
a mish-mash of subjects, sources, fonts, pitches ············to be taken SERIOUSLY, lightly or otherwise.

WANT TO GIVE UP SMOKING? A Chinese inventor, Pu Danming, [has invented] a cigarillo-sized tube containing Chinese herbs plus a small battery and microchip and a dozen other components - but no tobacco. The 'cigarette' is not lighted; rather, when the smoker takes a puff a light flashes on the end to imitate a burning ash. Also, the cigarette plays a patriotic song when puffed on. ... The mixture of herbs is also good against cancer.

Excerpts from Paid Obituaries (from USA Today, November 1995) (1) He was an avid reader and a voracious snowball collector. (2) Family and friends are pleased to say she was Meaner than Hell right to the last. (3) No dust ever settled on her furniture and she could make such a snug bed you needed a shoehorn to tuck yourself in.

The Times (London) October 26 1995: A man who was found in a women's restroom at Mayfair Mall was issued a citation for disorderly conduct. The man admitted to police that he had entered the restroom because he thought it would be a good place to meet women.

Gambling, now a $40 billion business, is the country's fastest growing industry.

The Bruno Magli company says its sales have soared since its designer shoes were first mentioned in the O. J. Simpson murder case [which has led] to a 30% increase in sales worldwide.

The leading cause of death of females from the age of 14 to the age of 44 worldwide, is domestic violence.

Notice in a shopping centre in Doncaster, England, outside a lift [elevator] that was not working: "Out of order. Please use carefully."

In Burnley (England) a burglar who robbed the house next door was caught when he hung the stolen curtains in his windows.

What's REALITY? Here's an advert for it:

Important Information About REALITY.

* REALITY only works when you use it.
Use it every time you have sex.

* Before you try REALITY,
be sure to read the directions
and learn how to use it properly.

THE ART OF WASTING MONEY (The New Internationalist, September 1994): At the height of the boom in the later 1980s a share-dealing company in the City of London decided to do something 'special' for Christmas. Awash in profits from selling shares in one of the recently privatized public utilities and staffed by erstwhile street-traders decked out in Wall Street style red braces, the firm happened upon a brilliant wheeze . . . What was needed was a display of company wealth so big, so conspicuous and so absolutely pointless that no one would be in any doubt that this company was in a league of its own when it came to wasting money . . . They brought in several van-loads of [champagne] costing over $30 a bottle, uncorked it, poured it into the central-heating system, started the pumps and listened to the sound of evaporating money swilling around their radiators.

Spending a lot of money can be an agonizingly difficult process. Eventually, rich people succumb to what American behavioural psychologists have recently identified as 'consumption fatigue'.

But it's possible for the not-so-rich to do it too: here are things you can buy for your cat:

1. PRIVATE KITTY SCREEN for the demure, shy cat that just needs some privacy. ($19.99)

2. A VIDEO FOR CATS ONLY: real birds, squirrels and chipmunks star in this 25-minute VHS tape that will safely introduce your indoor cat to the sights and sounds of the world beyond his window perch. ($14.95)

Or for yourself:
1. An umbrella that plays a full twenty seconds of the fitting melody Singin' in the Rain every time you open it. ($39.95)

2. Wireless intercoms so that you can page your family in any room in the house. ($79.50 for a set of 2)

3. Remote-controlled gas barbecue. (Works from 30 feet away!)

4. A lighted electric tie rack that holds 72 ties and revolves completely in 25 seconds.

5. A golf-club drink dispenser, shaped like a golf club, that fits into your golf bag . . . etc. etc. etc. $$$$$$$

Related Links:

Fact & Fantasy

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Fact & Fantasy: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11